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[lancifolium]

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[mapmaker]

i've told him not to counter anything you do but he doesn't listen.

( There's a brief moment of panic then. By morning he'll be back in his dorm room looking reasonably put together. He can never stop the Marauders visiting, he tried in first year and failed quickly. But he doesn't want Lily to see him like this, worn out and a little broken. It's a little too close to the truth of him. )

i'm okay, it's just a stomach bug.

[lancifolium]

[ ' The same bug as last month?' Is what she writes and quickly erases because she doesn't want him to fret, but all this mystery does nothing to soothe her sneaking suspicions about what precisely is going on. ]

Just because you say you're okay doesn't mean I don't want to come see you and bring you chocolate.

[mapmaker]

as much as i'd appreciate that, i don't want to make you sick too.

( He doesn't like lying, he hates himself a little more every time that he does. Lily deserves better. )

how was your day? anything interesting beyond hexing james?

[lancifolium]

You're not going to get me sick Remus.

[ The longer he protests, the more inclined she is to just show up and shower him in affection like a proper girlfriend. ]

Let's see, Slughorn decided to regale me with exciting tales of his best students years 1945 through 51. Again.

[mapmaker]

( If he just completely ignores the first statement maybe she'll forget the whole idea. He doesn't look like someone with a stomach bug, just a boy who tried to tear himself apart. A tiny voice in the back of his head is wondering if he made the worst kind of mistake by letting her into his life, letting him fall for her. He should have been smarter. )

have heart. you'll be in the highlights after we graduate. then he could torment some other student with the tales of your prowess.

heck how did i fuck up codes so bad last tag sorry!

[lancifolium]

After we graduation we're going so far away we will miss all the stories.

[ Is she already getting ready to go to the infirmary? It's possible. ]

it's okay!!!

[mapmaker]

( It's such a nice dream. Any other day and it would fill him with hope. Right now, lying where he is, he just feels guilty. )

we'll have to change our names so he doesn't send you invites to dinners anymore.

[lancifolium]

Bethany and Simon Jones, antiquarians. [ Which is undoubtedly a weird note to enter the infirmary on, but she was already on her way when he sent that last message and she spent the walk thinking about excellent aliases. ]

Or– [ Lily continued, pointedly ignoring any objection or attempt to slow her progress to getting to the side of his bed and kissing the top of his head. ] Eustus and Prudence Van Louis, professional tea sommeliers.

[mapmaker]

( The usual delight he feels at seeing Lily is marred with the dread he has at her witnessing him like this. It comes out a little in the strain of his voice. )

I don't think I look much like a Prudence.

( Considering what he actually is the only thing that suits him is his name. )

You really didn't have to come up here.

[lancifolium]

I wanted to see you. [ Sinking down into a chair beside his bed she tilted her head at him before, with a dismissive shake of her head, bending forward so that she could get her arms around him while he was laying down, her chin propped on his chest. ]

I missed you, I didn't want to wait. I don't care if I get sick.

[mapmaker]

( Guilt is such a strong thing. Remus can feel it clawing at his throat, the same vicious need for freedom that the creature inside of him craves. She holds on to him and he feels at once sick to his stomach and so, so glad of her, two warring emotions that swarm inside. )

You say that now --.

( It's weak, half a joke. She doesn't know what he is. )

I really was fine, you know.

[lancifolium]

I'm not saying you weren't fine, but– [ Lily looked up at him with a slight shake of her head. ]

You're quite daft if you're of the opinion I could care for anyone like I care for you, and not bring chocolate to the infirmary. I'd do the same thing if was a matter of you getting a terrible splinter.

[mapmaker]

( He laughs at that, eyes half closed. )

Knowing my luck? That'll be next.

[lancifolium]

I don't do this lightly Remus, as my supply is limited.

[ Straightening, Lily dug through her satchel a moment before producing a couple of Crunchie bars. ] For you, however, an obvious exception had to be made.

[mapmaker]

( His smile turns startled and then sweet, lifting a hand to rub it tiredly over his face. She's too good for him. )

I must've worried you if you're willing to part with such a precious commodity.

( Just her scent is enough to soothe some of the restless crawling inside of his skin and he can't stop himself from leaning in a little and pressing dry lips to her temple in a soft kiss. )

Thank you.

[lancifolium]

[ He had worried her, that much was plain to see but more than that she had missed him. His disappearances were nothing new, Lily had noticed them since the beginning, but things were different now, and instead of idly wondering she had instead shifted her focus toward putting the pieces together.

Bad news for Remus.

Smiling when she felt the press of his lips against her temple Lily turned her head quickly enough to catch him in a quick kiss. ]

Don't thank me, you'd do the same for me.

[mapmaker]

I'll make sure to keep an emergency curly-wurly for whenever you need it then.

( He hadn't thought about this part, when he'd finally admitted he had feelings for her. Nor when he had kissed her the first time. First love had been something thrilling and exciting and he'd thought like a teenage boy , wanting only to do as a teenage boy would. He knows he should have been sensible. His parents were always worried about this kind of thing, warning him off letting people too close. Not because they didn't want him happy, they just didn't want him hurt.

He can't imagine someone like Lily Evans would be species-ist. But it doesn't mean she wouldn't be afraid of him, think differently of him if she knew. She could tell someone.

She could be hurt by him. )

What did James do anyway?

[lancifolium]

Disregarded my right to personal space. [ Lily wrinkled her nose in distaste and shrugged. It wasn't anything new, and on the bright side, she'd become extremely adept at hexing James's shoelaces together over the years as a result.

Lily heard the door open and turned to catch sight of Poppy Pomfrey stepping out. With a little smile, she looked back to Remus and nudged at his side. ]

Scoot over.

[mapmaker]

( He does as she asks, trying his bed to disguise his wince as he makes room. A stomach bug might leave someone sore all over he supposes. )

Am I keeping you back from anything?

[lancifolium]

That question goes off the assumption that there's anywhere else I'd rather be. [ Waiting until he had made a bit of room Lily climbed into bed beside him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and planting a kiss on the top of his head. ]

[mapmaker]

( He sinks into her side without thinking, taking a deep breathe and letting the warmth and nearness of her soothe parts of him he hadn't realised were hurting. )

Does that mean you'll let me copy your notes tomorrow? I can trust you to actually have proper ones.

[lancifolium]

[ Relived when she felt the way he seemed to relax some, Lily reached up to gently comb her fingers through his hair. ]

As long as you stop trying to get me to stop fussing over you, I think that can be arranged.

[ Did she already draft a copy of the star chart they'd need for Astronomy for him to use? Maybe. ]

[mapmaker]

( Softly. )

You really shouldn't. I'm okay, I promise.

[lancifolium]

I know you are, but I missed you and adore you. [ Was he expecting a different answer? ]

[mapmaker]

( He has to hide his flaming face in her shoulder, words muffled there. )

This was a lot easier when you couldn't always see me blushing like an idiot.