inbox for eastbound

[lancifolium]

lily evans

missives | encounters

ɢᴏ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ✥ ᴀᴘᴘʟɪᴄᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ✥ ʙᴀᴅɢᴇs

Comments

[bearshermark]

[Guilt manifested in the small wince of his eyes. It was his favorite non-answer and not one she deserved after everything. He breathed]

..I think I do, still. It's okay. I'm.. I want you to be happy with me.

[lancifolium]

Why?

[ Wondering if she had done or said something he might have taken as dismissive she continued to search his face uncertainly. ]

What could you say or do that I wouldn't be happy with? Did I do something?

[bearshermark]

No- no, you didn't-

[Goddess grant him some ability to speak well]

I just- everything has- quickly, already. I don't want you to think that I- that I don't.. value you properly.

[lancifolium]

[ Oh.

Oh. ]

I know you value me, and, I don't -that is to say, I'm not certain if I'm, but. You know, it's nice being close to you. I'd like to continue to be close to you.

[bearshermark]

[His insides squirmed with uncertainty and at cross purposes. Hoping as much as fearing she'd interpreted correctly. But neither could he brave any nearer to the subject, and took what ground he could latch onto]

Yes. That's- of course. ..I'd like that.

[lancifolium]

[ Somebody had to get it together and form full, helpful sentences and Lily was trying so hard to have it happen sooner rather than later. ]

If you want something more between us, I think- I mean not everything more so quickly but, if that's what it is then I wouldn't feel not valued.

[ Was this making it worse? This was probably making it worse. ]

[bearshermark]

[Goddess have mercy on him for wanting such things.

Miserably red-faced, Eleven nodded shortly]

Okay. ..Sorry. It's all.. very improper, I know. But it doesn't have to be. I like you, like this. Being close.

[lancifolium]

It's not, really it isn't.

[ She reached out, touching his shoulder. ]

You seem to think I haven't thought those things too.

[bearshermark]

[Eleven's eyes blinked wide, staring mutely for several long seconds. In his chest, a yawning pit of a different sort of hunger threatened. It yearned to crawl over her and kiss her breathless.

Eleven swallowed, then shifted]

Oh. [Cleared his throat, flushing over again]

Well that's.. comforting.

[lancifolium]

[ Uncertain what to say or do, since it all seemed to be making things worse instead of better Lily could only blink in surprise at his choice of words.

Comforting? Was that good? ]

I'm not helping, am I?

[bearshermark]

[His eyes shift past her, mouth twitching as he attempts to regain control over his expression]

No, I- I mean yes. It's- I'm glad I'm.. not the only one.

[lancifolium]

[ Drawing the blankets up around her shoulders Lily looked down at her lap, frowning. ]

I'm, sorry?

[ In truth she didn't know what she was apologizing for, beyond her own inability to keep the things she probably shouldn't say unsaid. ]

[bearshermark]

[Eleven quieted, puzzled. At least it helps abate the redness in his face some]

You don't have to- you didn't do anything wrong. I, ah- feel as though I rather should be for mentioning any of it..

[lancifolium]

A far sight better than choosing the element of surprise though, isn't it?

[ Looking up at him she laughed awkwardly, utterly seeped in uncertainty. ]

[bearshermark]

[He tipped his head, feeling vaguely like this was some political query he found himself forced to work through for meaning]

..I suppose. But it isn't- I wouldn't.. impose without er- invitation.

[lancifolium]

You wouldn't impose.

[ It came out before she could think to stop herself, and as red as she went after having said as much, it wasn't a lie. ]

[bearshermark]

[Eleven's throat ran dry. Was she-

This certainly wasn't any of what he expected to be discussing when he'd agreed to spend the day with her.

He shifted up, finally able to meet her eyes properly again]

You.. really?

[lancifolium]

[ Doing her best impression of someone whose face wasn't red, Lily met his eye and nodded slightly. ]

Yes, really. I mean, I think, I'd like to wait a little while for, uh, everything.

[ Merlin's tits she hoped he caught her meaning and didn't make her spell it out. ]

But, there's um - a bit to work with before that, isn't there?

[bearshermark]

[Everything, he understood the meaning of. But.. there certainly was a great deal else that may or may not qualify.

Eleven nodded woodenly even while nerves burst over his skin]

..Okay.

[lancifolium]

[ Biting her bottom lip she looked over at him, concerned. ]

It's - you're not disappointed with me are you?

[bearshermark]

[His heart dropped]

What? No, I- of course not. I've never been.

[lancifolium]

[ Visibly relieved she brightened some as she watched him. ]

Then, I think that, if you want to, you ought to kiss me.

[bearshermark]

[Well, that was certainly an invitation.

Eyes on Lily, Eleven moved to crawl toward her. He hesitated a moment as he drew close, then leaned in to press his lips to hers]

[lancifolium]

[ Inching forward she leaned in to meet that kiss, wrapping one arm around his shoulders as her other hand caught hold of his, guiding it to settle high on her side. ]

[bearshermark]

[He shifted to settle more comfortable so he wouldn't need to hold himself up. His thumb brushed upward, then swiftly back down, conscious of the swell of her bust. Sure, he'd felt her against him often enough, but that was.. possibly within the boundary, actually. Still, he hesitated]